1. You gave it a human name.
2. You park at the back of the lot where it’s empty, not because you enjoy the walk, but because no one will have the opportunity to scratch your baby.
3. You can’t walk away from your car without looking back at least once.
4. You’ve lost multiple friends because they left trash or crumbs on your seats.
5. You keep interior-friendly wipes in the glove box.
6. You use said wipes even when it’s perfectly clean.
7. You’re always looking for errands to run, just so you can go for another drive.
8. You can’t wait for winter to be over, so you can wash your car without the water freezing on it.
9. You can’t wait for summer to be over, so it’s not too hot to wash your car.
10. You just really, really love washing your car.
11. You feel personally victimized by people who park badly near your car.
12. You’ve had a longer relationship with your car than your significant other.
13. You freak out every time someone even mentions hail.
14. Sometimes you take random drives to nowhere in particular, just to spend some quality time in the driver’s seat.
15. You have sacrificed clothing to wipe a smudge off the exterior.
16. You always lock it more than once, just to be sure.
17. Also because every sound that comes from your car is music to your ears.
18. You talk to it even though it’s an inanimate object, because you’re kind of a crazy person.
19. You spend more money on car accessories than you can afford, with no regrets.
20. When you’re with friends and you decide to go somewhere, you always offer to drive.
21. You would never, ever let someone else drive your car.
22. Not even your mother.
23. You’re always comparing it to the other cars around you when stopped at red lights.
24. Sometimes you aimlessly wander over to the window, just to take a peek into the parking lot.
25. Because you feel absolutely no shame in the fact that your car is basically your best friend.